so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
