is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize