im having a threesome with these popsicles
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
