I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize