i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
