I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize