I am puke
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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