I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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