Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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