I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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