everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
