1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
