THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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