Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
