you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
sex in a hospital.. check
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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