All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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