my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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