hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
