Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
