He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
