maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
