SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize