the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i believe in u and ur pee
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
