So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
