you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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