Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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