when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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