lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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