Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
