Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
