I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
