even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
