If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
