How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize