ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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