sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
