If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
