Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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