I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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