I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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