i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He did a backflip because drugs
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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