When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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