So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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