a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i out mim tonsoeep
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