so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
