i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
