Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize