He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
