You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
