is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
do nipples grow back?
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