remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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