And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
