you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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