just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Im at strip club and am horny
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
