I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
