dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
