Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
