Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
