i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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