Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
