Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
