I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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