Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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