Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
