Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
