Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
