Michael Bay diarrhea
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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