Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
