We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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