my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
