Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
