It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
