i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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