Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize