my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
