ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
